Relating to Students

I have this notion that students enjoy younger professors because they tend to be more understanding, since they are not so far removed from being students themselves. I would certainly ascribe to this belief in my own practices: I tend to be more understanding if students need to buy a cheaper edition than the one I ordered for the class, or I am not offended when my class falls pretty low on their priority lists, below even the float contest or that evening's episode of Jersey Shore.

But it wasn't until I actually became a student again that I remembered what it was really like to be a student. There are some obvious differences between me and a "real" college student: I chose the class because I already understood its relevance to my professional career, I am not paying for the course, I will take the tests but they will not factor into my gpa or effect financial aid in any way. Nonetheless, I was a bit surprised by some of the feelings I've experienced in the last 3 weeks of attending class.

On the first day I was scurrying from the class I taught to the class I am a student in (this whole experience is made more interesting by the fact that I teach, then attend class, then teach again. that's some pretty serious role-switching). Half-way down the two flights of stairs I realized I wasn't sure I had a pencil with me. How embarrassing it would be to have to borrow a writing utensil on the first day of class! After digging in my bag long enough I confirmed that I did indeed have a writing utensil. Walking into the classroom, my eyes darted quickly around the room. Where should I sit? I slid to the far side of the room and sat in the middle of the row. Perhaps I am more aware than most college students of how much your chosen spot says about you as a student, but I knew I didn't want to be on the front and I didn't want to be in the very back.

Despite those anxieties, I felt a surge of hope and promise as we went over the syllabus. At this point in the course, anything was possible! Who could guess what the knowledge I learned in this hour would transform in my life? While I still feel that sense of anticipation three weeks later, I have already begun squeezing in the reading a few minutes before class and only half-way doing the homework. There are just so many other important things to do!

I am a bit shocked by my behavior, and I wonder how, if I, as an adult, who highly values the knowledge I'm gaining in this class, am doing so little to get by, do students ever do anything for my classes? I am also comforted by some of the habits of this teacher that I recognize in myself, habits that seem perfectly normal to me as a student, but felt so awkward when I was in front of the classroom. Like looking down at my notes to get my bearings and remind myself of what to say next. I actually enjoyed those moments as a student because it let me catch up in my note-taking and breath for a second. I'm also not sure that I feel totally "passive" during a lecture, the knowledge I'm taking in has my mind working whether I'm contributing or not.

I do find, however, that if we're still on the same topic 5 minutes later, my mind has wandered. Its not that I require a change of activity, just a shift in focus. I always assumed as a teacher that "short attention span" meant I had to drastically change the pace or the activity, but now I think just key shifts would work well enough to punctuate students' attention.

Its also really, really nice to be sitting among the "audience" and not performing in front of the class. As much as I love teaching, being up in front of people exhausts me. I'll be curious what the pressure of "test" day feels like, but for now showing up for class is a completely stress-free and relaxing addition to my day. I am also eager and excited to have the privilege to keep learning. It's been nearly 4 years since I've been a student (as in attending every class for an entire semester), and I dearly missed it. Perhaps this is what the saying "education is wasted on the youth" really means: its not until you've moved on from college that you realize what you had. As with most things, the value of something becomes apparent only when you've lost it. So what does one "have" while in college? What is this education "thing?" Well, that's a topic for another post...