It's More Than a Job

Part Two of my series reflecting on my first year as tenure-track professor focuses on what has surprised me. I tried really hard to come up with three things because for some reason to put things in three makes it seem so balanced (thanks either to the trinity or the rhetorical triangle, not sure which really). But I could only think of two substantial things that surprised me.

The first has something to do with the location of my office. And no, its not the fact that I'm in one of the "least desirable" offices since its on the fourth floor and only has a skylight. I expected the new kid on the block to get the last choice of office (which, consequently, seems like a penthouse to me after either being in a room full of cubicles and sharing that cubicle with two other people, or being in an office the size of a closet that I shared with 3 other people).

My office is located across the hall from the room that houses all of the graduate student TA's. What surprised me about this was my reaction, which first entailed deep nostalgia for that time in my life, a community which I am only removed from by about a year and half but which I spent 5 years being part of. I love listening to their chatter, their rants, their drama. When I hear them sharing about their teaching ideas or their research ideas I long to run across the hallway and join them.

Connected to my surprise at how much I would long to be a graduate student again (if you are still a graduate student, please don't hate me at this point. I recognize this is nostalgia and often disappears around the first of every month when I get an actual paycheck), but connected to this desire is another source of surprise - that faculty do not share ideas and work in the same way. Sure, there are formal settings for it, but not those wonderful informal hallway/cubicle conversations. My guess is because while the institution gives lip service to teaching, its really the research they care about. This means, pre-tenure, its what we have to care about. So nobody has time to sit around and chat about their teaching. And I suppose we don't talk about our research informally as much because we don't share the common bond of being in a classroom setting together.

So I am surprised by how much I miss being a graduate student, which is connected to how much I miss informal conversations about teaching and research where people are truly engaged and willing to learn from one another.

The other thing I've been surprised by has nothing to do with the job, and this is why its surprising. How many years of my life have I devoted to this one pursuit - getting a tenure-track job? Especially those last 6 months. Literally every waking moment, and really every sleep(less) moment, was preoccupied with getting a job. How surprising, then, when I get out here to discover that what really matters is everything that is not the job. The place where that job takes you will really matter. The kind of people you find there will really matter. What the community has to offer will really matter.

I find it nearly pointless to say this, because the state of Academia right now funnels us into a cattle chute where we grab at the first real job that comes along and go wherever it takes us (for some this cattle chute leads to their dream jobs, others maybe not. its still a cattle chute. just go to MLA and you'll know what I mean). So to some degree all the context surrounding the job (I believe this is called "life") doesn't matter at all, because you'll take the job anyways.

But this post was about what has surprised me this year, and so I'm just telling you, this surprised me. We spend so much time consumed with getting the job, and so much time on the job, that's its easy to forget how much all the other stuff (I believe this is called "life") will matter. So part of what I've done this year is not only learn how to be a professor for the first time at a new school, I've also learned how to live in a new place and meet new people and find new favorite running trails and eating spots. And honestly, this part called "life" has been the hardest part of it all.

Baylor Bears Baseball

around Waco, on a run

Waco Downtown Farmers Market